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|Saturday, November 23rd, 2013|
|Happy Holidays!! NOT! Shut the fuck up.
I hate, loathe, despise, dislike, don't appreciate the "holidays". No really. Its a waste of time, energy, effort, and money. I don't get drawn closer to my family. In fact thats when i really look to their flaws and realize, these people suck.
I know i feel like this year round as well. Just i guess the commercials shoving it all in my face just doesn't help. Signs up "tis the season". UGGGGGggg. I feel like this is why people drink at the holidays. Lets get into an eggnog stupor. Lets party till new years like its 1999 again, and just let it all go.
|Wednesday, October 30th, 2013|
It's just never going to happen for me is it?
|Thursday, September 27th, 2012|
Why are moms such a touchy topic. My mom and I over the years use to not talk. I was fine with it, but since Aunt Leigh shot herself we decided we would never "not talk" to each other again.
Im so disappointed with my mother. Who is now 51. Last year her husband left her, and for a much younger woman. I understand she was devastated. However since she saw it coming months before it happened, and was ok with it then; when push came to shove she was lost, scared and defeated. I felt so sorry for her. Things changed in her, and I saw my grown mother become a childish teenager. She stopped being my mother in the sense of being older and wiser and started doing crap like airing her business on facebook, and calling the police for petty crap.
And then in true my mother fashion. The second she gets a man in her life everything goes to the back burner. She doesnt care about anything. She doesnt want to help with anything. God forbid she act like a grandmother for a moment. My brother could really use some help right now, maybe some guidance, maybe 2 hours child free for a moment. Did he get himself into this situation? Yes. Do you need to ride his ass about it every second of every day? NO! he lives it. He knows what the fuck is going on. Jesus woman, back off.
And I like her boyfriend, dont get me wrong he is a nice guy, and he is nice to her. She says she is happy. But I think she is personally just grabbing at anything she can and holding on for dear life to help her stay afloat. Im glad to see my brother is doing the same thing, but doesnt smear it in everyones face while he is doing it. And frankly mother im doing the same. In some regards we all do. But most people have the common decency to not yell look at me while they do it.
|Monday, December 14th, 2009|
|Christmas again already, really?
Its been a while since i posted things here.
For the most part I am good. Bored out of my mind. BORED.
Cash is good, he turned 2 in September, and we had a blast at his and Averys Birthday party. We did it at Bounce U. FUN FUN FUN. Even the adults had fun. There are pics on facebook.
Matt and I. FUCK. We broke up for a bit, but I never moved out. And since i never moved out. Things got better and we were back together like nothing happened. While we were "broke up" I started seeing someone else, more like a friend with one awesome benifit. Thats it though. I asked him if we were beyond a point of dating and he was like well yeah, sorta of there is this thing. What im fat? To old? He doesnt want to date another chick with kids.
I know why he says that, its a weird situation, i understand that. But that changed my idea of him being my friend. We still trade orgasams, but I dont do any more pillow talk with him. I get what I came for and leave. Where does this get weird? At the point of Hello Matt and I have an open relationship but I hide Dave from him. I guess I like having a secret because its the only thing out of the norm in my life.
I hit a deep low about a month and a half back. I was hating everyone, and everything, and was crying and whining to myself and anyone who can hear me. I changed birthcontrols, and low and behold, I feel stable. Am I broken? Am I going to have to have additional help in the form of some sort of pill to help me be a "normal" functioning person? Maybe.
Matt since his dads death has really decided to throw himself into work. Since most of you dont know he works for the post office, not much you can do. He works 10-11 hours a day, and then by the time he is home, hes not really here. Hes dead tired and mentally dead. He still doesnt call Cash by his name, or anyname for that matter. I have to pretend to be having a bad day for him to change a diaper. Last week he changed 3, two of which was because I wasnt here. Im considering actually moving out around tax season. Will I do it? Who knows, we will see here in a few short months I guess.
Why wasnt I there last week? Ive taken to searching for a social life. Its with a moms group I joined, and I have been bringing Jaime with me. We quickly becoming queens of Bunko!
And thats all I have here in the life of Ann. In May Im going to Chicago. T minus 6 months and counting daily. While there I will meet people I have been talking with online, see the sights. One of the days I will be breaking away and seeing my best friend Jami from childhood, she says she lives like 30-45 mins away from Chicago, so I will do what ever I need to see her while im that close. I havent seen her in 11 years. We have kids the same age. She turned out to be everything she never wanted. And shes married to a dude who is like 10 years younger than her. How funny.
|Sunday, August 23rd, 2009|
Im no longer covered in piercings anymore, and i love my user name, i made it at a time when i was covered in piercings and loving a remake of the Lita Ford song Kiss Me Deadly by the group Reel Big Fish(RBF)
However,I want a new name. Any one have any suggestions? I want something the describes me, or is funny, cute or catchy since most of you all dont know me all that great outside of here.
here is a link to the song i was talking about abive, ignore the video, but listen to the song its good: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x145t5_amv-flcl-reel-big-fish-kiss-me-dea_fun
|Thursday, August 6th, 2009|
|Writer's Block: I May Be Crazy
What does this Rorschach blot look like to you?
It looks like a wart hog the top holes look like eyes and the lower holes look like horns.
|Monday, June 22nd, 2009|
Its killing me to know that Matt is sitting a hospital room watching his father die. Hes been in the hospice center for 7 days now. I'm thankful beyond words that he didn't pass away yesterday with it being Fathers Day. I have to wonder if this will be harder for them then his death.
|Tuesday, June 16th, 2009|
|Friday, June 12th, 2009|
|Saturday, May 30th, 2009|
|Tuesday, May 26th, 2009|
|Out damn spot out!
The cyst they removed from my breast turned out to be nothing to worry about. Whew!
|Sunday, May 17th, 2009|
|Saturday, May 16th, 2009|
Well lets get you all up to speed.
I turned 30 back in April. *Groans* But honestly it wasnt as bad I as I thought it would, failing health and all. We had my Old peoples party that was Golden Corral for dinner and then Bingo. Some family came up from TN, and several friends came as well, from LJ alone we had: blookum
& her husband dj_sdot orusa13
& his girlfriend, pushmearound
& her husband mairondil
, and of course my family like my mom and brother. I doubt any one else will ever play bingo with me again.
Matt bought me a car. Its not a new car, but its my car, and it gets me around, sometimes. We have had issues with the gas tank thats why im not out cruising the world this weekend.
I had one of the cysts removed from my breasts this week and I find out on the 20th what it is. Hope its just a cyst, and nothing more. Im on the waiting list for my gallbladder, and my foot, but still no word as to when anything will happen next with that.
I bought pushmearound
fish tank that I had been harassing her for, and now I have fish. They are my new joy and constant worry, but damn they are such a stress relief for me. Of all of them I probably enjoy the snails the most.
I think i finally have Matt talked into a second child, but its something that were not going to start trying for till after January of this next year. We will have the cars paid off, and be completely debt free excluding the house and monthly expenses. He paid everything off of his credit report and all outstanding bills, and credit cards, which cut us short this last month, but in the long run we do save money from doing so.
Which brings us to Matts work, he got his old route back(hes a mailman) but his boss had a hysterectomy & quit smoking the week they all went back on their old routes, and so shes a bigger bitch than his last boss who they both have a mutal hate for. They have pretty much cut all overtime so thats another reason he was rushing to get the debts paid in such a short time.
Cash is growing like a weed, and I have already started planning his birthday party because we are now just 4 months away form him being 2. Where in the hell did all this time go? He has a decent size vocabulary, he can say Dad, and all forms of that, Nana, and Ma, and 'ish(fish) and Kit Kak(kitty cat) and 'og(dog) and Eat, and cup(short for get me something to drink woman) hi & bye, and nite nite, and ertle(turtle; which you can find here: www.amazon.com/Cloud-Twilight-Turtle-Constellation-Night/dp/B000BNQC58
and i think every one should have one). He can also say 'hank do(thank you) & 'elcome(welcome). I know there are more, but this is more for my record than anything.
Matts dad has been in and out of the hospital for stuff, and they have put his chemo on hold for a bit, maybe he will get to start back on round 7 next week if he is over the pneumonia.
Thats about it for my "exciting" life. Sorry nothing super juicy, There is some shit with my brother which i will go into more detail about in another entry when im more calm and can talk about with some rational thought.
Hope you all are well, and and special thank you to destinymanifest
for her birthday wishes and to let her know that there are some catty bitches over in p101, and to just ignore them, cause I myself have considered leaving that community on several occasions cause of them. Current Mood: bitchy
|Tuesday, March 17th, 2009|
|Saturday, February 14th, 2009|
|Tuesday, February 10th, 2009|
|Monday, January 19th, 2009|
...update damn cookies update must have new journal entries to read must stay off of TMC
|Friday, January 16th, 2009|
|wheres my prunes
So the big 3-0 that is rapidly approaching, its inching closer every day, were at like 2.5 months away here.
I have a hairline fracture in my foot or so the ER doc thinks. They gave me a boot and it felt pretty good until today(this broken realization happened Sunday). Today made me realize that my themed birthday party wont be happening. No skate party. No 30 going on 13. Yes i named my party.
Since skating seems like a high risk activity at this point, Ive decided were going to go play BINGO instead. No joking. B-i-n-g-o!
|Sunday, January 4th, 2009|
|now my throat hurts but i feel better
I just yelled at Matt at the top of my lungs, I was even throwing things I was so fucking mad. I let him know how his excuse of I don't know what I'm doing is no longer tolerable when it comes to Cash. Our son is almost 16 months old if you don't know to take a nice tone as opposed to the asshole tone you just took with him, to him when you first come up on him throwing a fit then you don't deserve for me to talk nice to you either.
Its decided this is the year where I take my life back from him. He never asked it of me or expected it of me, however I changed myself in hopes it would make me a better person, while it changed parts of me that looking back I think would have progressed anyways, I am not who I use to be, and I don't like it.
From what I have found of old me says to you all:
FUCK the WORLD! Current Mood: accomplished
|Friday, January 2nd, 2009|
|this thing on?
Why does it feel like noone is listening to me?
Oh yeah, thats right im not saying anything worth hearing these days.
I miss old me. Old me would mock current me, but only because I have not even a taste of passion in my life.
BTW were turning 30 in 4 months and I can already see how bad im stumbing on those words. 30. I was just 20. Fuck i was 25. I feel 45.