piercemedeadly (piercemedeadly) wrote,

Christmas again already, really?

Its been a while since i posted things here.

For the most part I am good. Bored out of my mind. BORED.

Cash is good, he turned 2 in September, and we had a blast at his and Averys Birthday party. We did it at Bounce U. FUN FUN FUN. Even the adults had fun. There are pics on facebook.

Matt and I. FUCK. We broke up for a bit, but I never moved out. And since i never moved out. Things got better and we were back together like nothing happened. While we were "broke up" I started seeing someone else, more like a friend with one awesome benifit. Thats it though. I asked him if we were beyond a point of dating and he was like well yeah, sorta of there is this thing. What im fat? To old? He doesnt want to date another chick with kids.

I know why he says that, its a weird situation, i understand that. But that changed my idea of him being my friend. We still trade orgasams, but I dont do any more pillow talk with him. I get what I came for and leave. Where does this get weird? At the point of Hello Matt and I have an open relationship but I hide Dave from him. I guess I like having a secret because its the only thing out of the norm in my life.

I hit a deep low about a month and a half back. I was hating everyone, and everything, and was crying and whining to myself and anyone who can hear me. I changed birthcontrols, and low and behold, I feel stable. Am I broken? Am I going to have to have additional help in the form of some sort of pill to help me be a "normal" functioning person? Maybe.

Matt since his dads death has really decided to throw himself into work. Since most of you dont know he works for the post office, not much you can do. He works 10-11 hours a day, and then by the time he is home, hes not really here. Hes dead tired and mentally dead. He still doesnt call Cash by his name, or anyname for that matter. I have to pretend to be having a bad day for him to change a diaper. Last week he changed 3, two of which was because I wasnt here. Im considering actually moving out around tax season. Will I do it? Who knows, we will see here in a few short months I guess.

Why wasnt I there last week? Ive taken to searching for a social life. Its with a moms group I joined, and I have been bringing Jaime with me. We quickly becoming queens of Bunko!

And thats all I have here in the life of Ann. In May Im going to Chicago. T minus 6 months and counting daily. While there I will meet people I have been talking with online, see the sights. One of the days I will be breaking away and seeing my best friend Jami from childhood, she says she lives like 30-45 mins away from Chicago, so I will do what ever I need to see her while im that close. I havent seen her in 11 years. We have kids the same age. She turned out to be everything she never wanted. And shes married to a dude who is like 10 years younger than her. How funny.
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